The Nation's Looking Glass: America's Retreat From Itself

(The Harwood Institute for Public Innovation)

The Nation's Looking Glass: America's Retreat From Itself

About a decade ago, I began to talk with Americans in ten cities about the state of politics and their relationship to it. The fruit of that initiative was the Kettering Foundation publication, Citizens and Politics: A View from Main Street America. In 1998, also at the suggestion of the Foundation, I again, with my colleagues, engaged Americans in conversations, this time about how they define "civic renewal" and what it means to them.

But that endeavor was not to be. For Americans in these discussions almost uniformly said that the phrase "civic renewal" rang hollow to them. As one man from Dallas explained, referring to those who regularly or routinely talk about civic renewal, "they come up with words to try to express ideas and they want to make sure that those ideas, when people first hear them, are positive. But it's a lot of mumbo-jumbo - a lot of fluff, a lot of icing."

Instead, people in these conversations sought to talk about the state of America - the country, its people, themselves. The discussions did not have a "civic" tone to them, they were about "life" and how it is to be lived in America.

People see a nation where messages and behaviors do not square with the America they want.

People see a nation they do not like. These Americans tell us that they and their fellow citizens have retreated from American life - an act they abhor but can see no other route to take at this juncture in American history. They have done so because they see a nation in which the societal messages and values and behaviors do not square with the America they want. They believe the nation has lost its way; misplaced important values; overwhelmed, at least temporarily, the role of human selves and stripped away a basic notion of humanity. These Americans suggest that change must start, not with legislative fixes or grand schemes, but with the individual. Americans must pause and examine who they are and who we seek together to become.

As I listened intently to these conversations it reminded me of the enduring American credo implicitly consecrated at our nation's founding: that this is a nation always becoming. The people in these conversations are struggling in some fundamental way with the contemporary meaning of this American ideal. The question is what will people do; in these pages, Americans tell us what is required.

A portion of Maya Angelou's poem, On the Pulse of Morning, speaks eloquently to the soundings of Americans today, when she penned:

Today the Rock cries out to us,
Clearly, forcefully
Come you may stand upon my back
And face your distant destiny
But seek no haven in my shadow
I will give you no hiding place down here . . .
The Rock cries out to us today,
you stand on me,
But do not hide your face.

The voices we hear in America today come at a time when the nation is enjoying one of its longest periods of sustained economic growth. But still, these voices signal to us that Americans are wondering about, wrestling with, the fundamental direction of the country and what is to become of America. Through these conversations we are offered a look into how people across this land see America and their own lives.

America has always been filled with people on the move and today is no different. Many Americans reported to us that the people of this nation have never worked harder or longer than they do today, especially given just how fast and powerful we all experience change; this change can be, is indeed for many, overwhelming. And as people in each conversation talked over the course of an evening, there sitting elbow to elbow with perfect strangers, revealing one moment after another their thoughts, their beliefs, their fears and dreams, they asked just where that effort has brought this nation of ours.

The stir of emotions at these conversations went well beyond the proud sense of a job well done. As people lifted their noses from their daily grindstones, and contemplated the America that ebbs and flows outside their own doors, they do not like what they see. Their response: rather than strive to help change things, they have come to lock themselves in their homes, working to live apart from the very society to which they seek to belong and shape and love.

A woman from Richmond expressed such sentiments in this way:

If you look at the whole picture of everything that is wrong, it is so overwhelming. You just retreat back and take care of what you know you can take care of - and you make it smaller, make it even down to just you . . . just you and your unit. You know you can take care of that.

She and others said that a driving idea of American society today, an idea that has captured their attention since they themselves were young, since so many of us were young, is "the bigger, the better!" But these folks now question this adage. They say that bigger is less personal, less connected, more out of control. What they see is not the America they seek.

People said they want to regain a sense of control in their lives - and the only choice they can envision today so to achieve that goal is to create smaller comfort zones around themselves. "They want to stand in a shell, a comfort zone," a woman told us in Denver. "People retreat," observed a man from Richmond, "because you have control."

Americans tell us that they have retreated from American life.

Most people described their comfort zones as a close-knit circle that begins and ends with family and friends. Some people in these conversations used such words as "clans" or "pods" to describe these groupings; in many of the conversations, people talked of "like going to like." But their expressions were not echos of the woman from Philadelphia who, during one of our conversations, talked about growing up in the Italian section of town, where people knew each other, where there was an enduring feeling of warmth and belonging; rather, this was more of a retreat into the smallest unit possible - to keep everyone else away.

Wanting to talk about this America came quite quickly to folks; there was little hesitation in their words or voices. "These communities - it's a natural way that humans behave," said one Richmond man. He then continued, "the wolves have packs, the whales have pods, fish have schools - almost everything in nature groups together in groups that are suitable to one another." In Los Angeles we heard similar thoughts: "People like to live in clusters," said one man. People would nod in agreement as such sentiments were expressed. Pulling back from the larger society around them seemed appropriate; more to the point, it has become a form of self-protection.

But most people expressed the belief that they could, or should, do more to reach out to others but that in fact they rarely venture outside of their immediate circle. A woman in Richmond put it this way: "We should all do our part as far as helping others, but people have gotten to the point where they say - 'this is about all I can handle.'" A woman in Seattle explained: "It all goes back to family. We need to take care of our own family." And a Denver woman, whose comment was representative of her group, asserted: "I don't even really want to know what my neighbors are doing." When one Seattle man looks out at America this is what he sees: a "hopelessness, a tremendous tension and confusion in our culture that is a fuse." He continued, "It's a fuse burning." Americans are seeking cover, they are retreating from the society to which they seek to belong.

American history is filled with notions that this is a nation made up of rugged individuals, of pilgrims and pioneers. In this country's early years, individual efforts went into building a nation. Our ancestors sought to create better lives in a land of opportunity. E plurbis unum, out of many, one.

But now people question if our much-heralded individual efforts are contributing to building the nation, or if they are so narrowly focused that they simply lead to personal benefits alone. In our conversations, people asserted that far too many Americans, including themselves at times, have turned inward, now focused so intently on themselves, thus crowding out room for others; they question if a nation can function in this way. Said one woman from Des Moines, "I would like to have the hope, but I don't see anything is going to change. I see people where I work and who I associate with - and they have dreams and goals for themselves, but they don't have dreams and goals for the country."

As we talked with people in communities across the nation, the very notion of what it means to be an American today troubled many. "Our future is deteriorating because we live in a country of hyphens; there are no more Americans," said a man in Philadelphia. He then continued, seemingly yearning for a response from someone, "They are either African-American, Mexican-American, Italian-American, Cuban-American. So how can you live the American dream if you are trying to be something else? Everyone is trying to find themselves."

One possible response came from a Dallas man, accurately summing up the tension many people told us now faces the nation. Many Americans, he said, seem to be "looking for differences and dwell on differences. They don't realize that [they can say] 'I am going to take you for the person that you are and work with you the way I can work with you.'" At the same time, most people said there is great importance in "preserving our unique individuality." When such comments were made, others around the table would not disagree even amid their passion about how far too many of us continually seek to create differences and divisions among ourselves. A point commonly made, this time by a Des Moines man, is that "everyone has got their own uniqueness. Everything has got something totally different to offer. Each and every one of us has something totally different to offer." It is cause for celebration.
Theirs was a retreat to keep everyone else away.

Yet, despite the need to recognize people's unique qualities, participants were clear that if Americans only can retain their sense of individuality by highlighting the differences among themselves, it will create a divisiveness that challenges the country at every turn. "I, I, I!" said one exasperated Philadelphian, "When are we going to start saying We! We! We!"

But "getting to we" will not be easy given the profound sensation Americans now experience of being bombarded and overwhelmed and indeed manipulated by the messages, behaviors and values that they see shaping current American life. People assert that these messages overwhelm them and their children, producing a nation different from the one they cherish and seek.

People told us repeatedly that they see many Americans, often themselves, getting squeezed out economically, while too many of us spend too much time focusing just on ourselves. In these conversations, people talked of America being reduced to the extremes economically - between "the haves and have-nots." Most people in these conversations spoke openly of this arguably growing divide, finding it disturbing, unsettling. "We live in an hourglass society," said one woman in Philadelphia. "We've got a lot of people with a lot, we've got a lot of people with absolutely nothing, and we've got very few people left in the middle."

These Americans found perhaps even more troubling the sense that so many people now seem to confuse money for worth, replacing personal relationships with financial ones. People said they are uncertain now as to even the kinds of relationships they might have - should have - with others outside their immediate clans or pods, and so, as one Dallas man put it: "People have become disillusioned, so they resort to the me-and-mine sort of thing." I have found this view of a self-absorbed nation in other research I have done in which Americans consistently say that the values of materialism and consumerism have crowded out values of family, community, faith, responsibility.

What seems to have emerged over the course of each of our conversations is people asserting that it is less the so-called middle class that is disappearing, but that the "middle" of America itself, the essence of sensibilities and values lodged there, is being squeezed, that we are losing the ability to set, to have reflected, some semblance of reality in daily life. This underlying, though unsaid, theme reverberated from town to town. But one Memphis man did sum up what many people felt when he noted about America nowadays, "There are gaps - widening gaps - be they political, social, economic, religious or ethnic."
A tension in our culture is a fuse burning.

For instance, people now see corporations and businesses as increasingly remote, so narrowly focused, wielding a kind of undue and unwanted influence that is utterly changing what we as a nation value. "It's all about capitalism," said one woman from Memphis when talking about business and the economy. She then continued by arguing that the nation's economic mind set has become "the ruling religion in America." And while people were quick to point out that they support American capitalism - because, as one person in these conversations put it, capitalism "drives the economic engine in this country" - still, people fear deeply that America has become a greedy nation obsessed with material goods, losing a sense of control and discipline. One woman from Des Moines described the greed she sees in this way: "I want what I want when I want it." It reminds one of the exasperated Philadelphia woman who talked of "I, I, I . . .When are we going to start saying We! We! We!"

Many people said that they also feel betrayed by political leaders who seem to act primarily in their own self-interest. One word they use to describe political leaders is "hypocritical"; people view leaders, in their words, as "very untrustworthy." They see the political system and those inside it, as disconnected and short-sighted. "They listen to you to get elected, then they forget you," said a Richmond man. Others shared similar views, this time a man from Des Moines: "Look at our government - the president, speaker of the House - they don't assume responsibility for their actions, but they expect everybody else to." The outrage he expressed about double standards was palpable throughout all the our conversations.

People shared some common views too of the media: they said the media acts in ways that skews and distorts people's perceptions of reality. Indeed, they drew connections between the kind of reporting they see and the growing isolation they feel in their own lives and throughout communities. People rejected the argument that the news media are simply covering what is going on in communities. Instead, to them, the images flashing across their televisions and playing out on the news pages are the result of intentional news media choices - and they question the basis upon which those choices are made. "The reporting of crime instills a fear in people that really hurts communities," said one woman from Los Angeles. "The media sees into too much of what is wrong instead of the things that are going right," said one woman from Philadelphia. Others agreed: "The media exaggerates and people are afraid."

What passes then for American life today fails miserably to reflect what people want - a kind of reality in which they live; a nation they seek. And yet, they told us, the messages, behaviors and values are unavoidable. They exist all around them. They engulf their daily lives.

So they retreat.

For many people, the relatively recent burst of technology, and its dramatic reshaping of the American landscape, holds out great promise for a better future, such as improving education, personal relationships, entertainment, and child rearing. But here too people told us that technology itself is increasingly becoming a force that rocks the very foundation of who we are, how we interact and the very essence of what it means to be human.

They don't have dreams and goals for the country.

No doubt there was the fear among some - which can be heard throughout the nation, and certainly not just in this research - that the burgeoning use of technology within the workplace is leading companies to value people less and less. One Seattle man suggested that in this technological age we look at people simply as machines - a concern about the de-humanizing of society that gripped so many people in our conversations. He said he would "like companies that treat their employees as humans, not as machines." A similar sentiment was expressed by a woman from Los Angeles who feared that "we're going to go into a society where we are robots." And back in Seattle, one woman observed: "It's going to be the technology and . . . the corporate world: they're gonna be bringing people in at the low end, they're not going to be bringing them in at the high end anymore."

Through the advance of technology, people said, we Americans have created a society in which we no longer need to interact or talk to each other directly, even when sitting side-by-side. They pointed to the sheer explosion of Walkmans, micro-tvs, cellular phones, and other "personal electronics" that can connect people and information from a thousand miles away and yet allows people to ignore the very person sitting directly next to them. "We are sitting at a computer terminal E-mailing to somebody, instead of actually, physically writing a letter or going to meet them," said one Los Angeles woman.

Indeed, people often forget that, as one man from Memphis said, "We are part of nature." He continued, "We see ourselves as above it and when we spend our days in places like this [referring to an office building] we tend to forget it. We lose something in term of our humanity."

People in our conversations no doubt see technology as progress; they are not so-called Luddites. But they wonder, as they do throughout these pages on so many issues and concerns that matter to them, just what effect technology is having on us as individuals and collectively as a people. Where is our human touch, a sense humanity? Where is the nation we seek?

As high-tech puts people in touch instantaneously, the very sense of place, local institutions and routines that have helped to form and spur trust in American life now seem to be out of people's reach; they seem distant; at times people pronounced then dead. The absence of these touchstones in people's lives shakes people to their core - only to be compounded by the array of vast and rapid change surrounding them. For it is these touchstones, those that live closest to people's daily lives, that help people to make sense of the world around them, create connections to it, gain a sense of place.

People talk of the transient nature of American society and the effect it has on the nation's life, and people's sense of place. In Denver, one man noted that "there's not nearly as much sense of community as there used to be." When asked to define community, he responded by saying, "watching out for your neighbors' property and they watch out for yours." There is a reciprocity involved. Even money seems to be transient these days, moving faster through a community than it used to, affecting the kind of place people live. Said one Dallas man, "The money stayed in an area much longer when it wasn't just 'the hood,' it was 'the neighborhood.'"

The nation's economic mind-set has become the ruling religion.

Indeed, people once called "the neighborhood" home, but today many say they fear the "hood." People lament how their neighborhoods and communities have changed from "being a place where people watched out for everybody" to a place where "the only common experience we share is that we live there," as a man from Memphis put it.

People said that the more Americans move around to follow jobs, the more everyone's sense of community is weakened; they now struggle with how to balance the demands of jobs, and their changing locations, with the basic needs of making community. But the notion of community is not just about knowing and trusting, as one woman in Los Angeles explained; it is where "everyone in the neighborhood really watches out for everybody . . . it's a sense of unity." While people explicitly said they were not looking for "Mayberry," as one woman in Richmond put it, they do yearn for a place of belonging and familiarity and sense of continuity.

The sheer scale of life also troubles people - more simply put, people say they have lost a sense of control over their surroundings, where they live, that they can not put their arms around it, so to speak, because too often it has become so large and unwieldy. People in these conversations talked about the number of people around them - the density that permeates their daily lives. "With more and more people, the closer we're pushed together, there's more need to insulate ourselves from other people," said one man in Richmond.

People told us over and over again that this feeling of increasing density has caused numerous problems: of crime, an inability to plan, overcrowded schools, fear. Seeking to explain this situation in the conversations, various folks reached back to basic psychology. One participant remarked, "Remember the psychological test of crowding rats together . . . and when you crowd 'em, they become disorganized? To some degree this is what we're doing with a huge metropolitan area." The results from the rat race - indeed, from the sheer number of rats - are taking a toll on Americans.

What is more, people identify specific decisions in modern American history as contributing to the nation's diminishing sense of place. As a man from Richmond stated, "they took prayer out of school, then [they] took the pledge of allegiance away so people don't feel like they have allegiance to the country." For the people in these conversations, it was a short step from removing moral markers to get to where folks see the nation today. "If you don't have those morals and the allegiance to your country and to your fellow man, then you don't know that's why our government has these problems. Everybody is out for their own," he said.

And people spoke of their schools, which they see as the very reflection of what people value in their community; but these Americans consistently told us that schools no longer reflect who they are - or think they are - nor do they reflect the kind of society they want to have. One man from Los Angeles said: "We won't find the answers [to society] until we can find a way to return the schools to the community." He continued by urging, "Let us become one community, one country again." "Education," we were told by a man in Des Moines, "is both a right and a privilege," but he said that many people now feel that some have greater privilege than others - demanding services for their children or leaving to go to a private school.

There, too, was a lingering concern that America is not educating the whole child - again echoing the ever-present concern about the human side of life, of humanity. "You need to learn to not only do the job you want to do, but how to communicate with those people around you," said a woman in Seattle. Many people said that this adds up to "an educational crisis." They noted that some parents are not willing or are unable to work to improve a situation that seems irreparably broken.

The sheer scale of life troubles people.

Navigating all these changes in American life is harder, people say, than in years past because there is no longer the same continuity of life - of guidance and wisdom - that comes from having generations of people around; layers of family life now live ten, a hundred, if not thousands of miles away. People said that they have lost a sense of belonging and place that was created when more generations lived in the same area, or even in the same home. "You don't have the continuity, you don't have elders helping watch your kids." And a man in Dallas noted that he often thinks "back to when mothers provided moral support and the fathers provided consequential actions. We're without the consequences now."

One is this: Americans typically regard the nation's youth as a metaphor for the future, and today, when the participants in these conversations look at young people they see a bad omen. Many said that Americans are raising children in dysfunctional families and instilling them with unrealistic expectations - leaving them unable to distinguish reality from fantasy. "Kids get confused and they tend to see what other kids are doing and what they see on TV, and they think that's the way," said one man in Texas. Taken away by long hours at their jobs or by separation and divorce, "Parents are not putting in the time," a Dallas woman added.

People explained that parents now try to make up for lost time with their kids by loading them up with material goods. This led one woman from Des Moines to say, "adults and children - our society - don't believe in themselves, they don't care about anybody else. They live for today because tomorrow might not ever come" Indeed, many people in these conversations talked about the nation living in a kind of fantasy so as to fend off reality.

People's frustration with American life is growing in response to these changes. But the struggle they describe leaves them with the sense that the nation as a whole simply is tinkering around the margins of the challenges at hand. Many people said that time is of the essence. "If we don't get this stuff turned around, my feeling is within another five or ten years, we are all going to have to be armed, because we are just out of control," said one Angeleno.

How will the nation find what is missing?

As many Americans seek to isolate and insulate themselves, people in these conversations said that such moves offer at best a false sense of security. Indeed, many volunteered that they are troubled by the current atmosphere of insulation, because "that's just more isolating people from other people," said a Dallas woman. A woman in Memphis remarked, "It's just another line of demarcation . . . separating people." And a Seattle man put it this way: "It's unfortunate. It's a sign of the times."

People fear that the fortress mentality now rushing throughout society is forcing people to build walls so high, that those bricks and mortar now resemble prison walls. And there's a modern-day twist to the story. "In recent times," a man in Memphis said, "you built walls to put the bad people in." But he added, that society has been unable to protect itself: "They're not controlling [our problems] that way so we're building walls to keep the bad people out." He said there is a futility in all this, because "You don't know that the good people are in." Never really sure who and where the good people are these days, this man lamented that it has come to the point where "there's no sense of community anymore. Everybody is walled off from the neighborhood."

One Richmond man told us that the search for safety behind walls reminded him of another time in history: "It's almost like going back to medieval times when we had the castle and everybody, when they needed protection or needed food, went to that castle."

As people raised such ideas we asked them what they thought about a trend (or, at least, a perceived trend) in which Americans seem to be moving increasingly to planned communities, gated communities, and smaller towns. People quickly told us why and, in doing so, often reported that they themselves had made such a move, knew someone else who had, or could see the wisdom in it. "A lot of people moved out because they said they wanted to get away from the crime," said a Denver woman. Many people suggested that they and others seek cover because they believe they can find not only less crime, but "less traffic," "lower violence," "a safer place to raise kids". . . "just a little peace" . . . "a slower pace of life" . . . "greater sense of control."

But many discussion participants believe that society is not solving anything when people isolate themselves and their families. "The problem is that crime and other things are catching up with them," observed one Denver woman when speaking of people seeking to "get away." She continued, "We're not solving anything!" A Richmond man said that all we are creating is "little birds in gilded cages." He suggested that people's attempt to escape would simply mean that "you would be locked up in your own community, putting blinds over your eyes and trying to ignore it all."
When they look at young people, they see a bad omen.

And in people's attempt to regain control, these Americans expressed great fear and regret that they are actually planting the very seeds for future problems. A woman in Dallas, like so many people in our conversations, put it in terms of children. "They're not going to be able to fit into society. They're not going to be a whole child. How are they going to fit into society?" And another Texan observed that "If you can't deal outside the gate, then you can't really live."

Instead of simply beating a hasty retreat, people argued that the nation - indeed they themselves - must begin to deal with the very issues that cause them to withdraw. "We should remove the reason that is forcing me to move into this gated entity," offered one Richmond man. People were clear that there is no single reason at work for the current dilemma - there are many, and indeed people often feel simply overwhelmed or intimidated and end up retreating even further. "Catch-22," said one participant. So for now what remains is this: the people with whom we spoke expect Americans to do whatever it takes to regain their sense of control. Even retreat, against their better nature.

These Americans see at the heart of this struggle fundamental dilemmas that we must address. First and foremost, these dilemmas are about America's values - which seem to me, based on these and other conversations with Americans, to be about how we choose to live, make decisions, account for ourselves. Regardless of the specific topic on the table or the community in which these conversations were held, people routinely grounded their comments in a simple belief: Far too many values they cherish have been simply swept aside or, paradoxically, have come to be recklessly exaggerated. The values people say they once cherished have been turned into feared vices, shaping a different America from the one they seek.

We had not gone looking for a discussion of values, but it was inescapable, becoming more distinct with each passing conversation, as we listened deeply to people and engaged with them. The values at play have no doubt existed in America since the nation's inception - indeed for people throughout time; but what troubled people in these conversations was that the very balance of these values is dangerously out of whack.

People talked about values which, having long served to motivate and shape America - the values of competition, of control, and of material success - now have become super-charged; now, as if given vast quantities of steroids, they have grown to be grossly out of proportion, overpowering, ugly. Values that prompted us to live by the notion, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" - such as responsibility, accountability, respect - have now been sharply diminished; taking the short-cut often is heralded as being smart and cunning. Other values - discipline, morality and faith - have taken a back seat in the non-stop, 24-hour-a-day, get-ahead world that people described. Instant gratification has replaced the need to work for something of value; perhaps to make sacrifice; to save and nurture; to have compassion for others with less.

In this struggle over the essence and meaning of our values sits a central dilemma about how to balance the desire to be, and feel, free with placing limits on what seems to people to be "outrageous," dangerous or immoral behavior in America. We heard over and over again from participants the sentiments expressed by this Memphis man. "With freedom comes choice. And when people make choices, sometimes they make good ones and sometimes they make bad ones."

Americans pride themselves on their freedom to make choices. "Free to chose," "free to do whatever we want" were phrases that rolled off their people's tongues as they talked about what is good about this country. Yet at the same time, people are starting to wonder if Americans have pursued, bitten off, too much of a good thing. People lamented that the more outrageous behavior has become in our society - from schoolyard shootings to Jerry Springer to incidences of road rage - the more they wrestle with how to set limits and who has the right to set those limits. As this topic was discussed over time in one group, people became increasingly and visibly annoyed with the current situation and their inability to find a response. So, one man in Richmond offered this idea with a great deal of hesitation. He said, "I'm sure it would be a dumb solution, but ummm, to revert to, if you could find a good one, a dictatorship." No one laughed. A Memphis man, seeking to prod his group, framed the dilemma in this way:

I think what we are dealing with is deciding how free we really want to be. We are starting to wonder, do we really want all this stuff on television? Do we really want this stuff available over the Internet? Do we really want this stuff to be shown in movies?

Yet while people repeatedly point out that the freedom to chose has given the nation pornography on the Internet, violence on television, and a wildly litigious society, they complain about the impossible number of laws and regulations that dictate what one can and cannot do. In Des Moines, one man summed up the situation by saying, "The whole country is over-legislated." In Denver, another man saw things in a similar light: "Everywhere, everything you do has guidelines."

People said that one result of this lurch to laws and rules is that it prevents people from taking responsibility for themselves; from having to do what is right, and not just what a law dictates; and from removing areas of authority that lead eventually to a kind of forefeiting of exercising judgment. For instance, people repeatedly talked about how laws often push parents away from one of their main duties - disciplining their children and teaching them what is "right and wrong." We heard over and over again a fear among parents that if they discipline their children, someone will accuse them of child abuse and social services will take the children away. One woman in Seattle said that "the government has taken away many of the rights of parents to discipline their children." In Los Angeles, folks told us that "the government has passed laws where the parents have no authority whatsoever. You have no authority over your children." In Des Moines, Richmond and Philadelphia we heard it, too.

People did not say that they seek to abandon all rules. Rather, it was that some rules are too complicated, irrelevant or both; that our reach for laws, our reliance upon them, has gone too far; that we have come to regulate our lives in ways that crowd out our own need to think, judge and act. Discussion participants said that at times people feel that their only choice is to ignore such rules or start over.

Values they cherish have been swept aside or recklessly exaggerated.

People also expressed dismay that the nation has, in their eyes, lost the very (naturally forming) standards that guide our social interactions - interactions that are not, could not be, controlled by rules and laws and regulations. Many participants focused on the inability of people to even discuss what can or should be done about particular situations, to talk things out and find ways to move ahead. One Philadelphia man put it this way: "The art of conversation no longer exists." So, while we all continue to talk - at times in seemingly endless ways through televsion, talk radio, shouting matches at public meetings and elsewhere - to what extent does our talk contain meaning?

Some blamed "political correctness" for this problem; others said that no one wants to "rock the boat." Whatever the reason, the citizens in these discussions reported that Americans seem to be losing both the willingness and the ability to communicate with each other. The result, people said, is that they and the nation are ill-equipped to discuss sensitive issues, "taboo topics that get you aggravated, like politics or religion," as one man from Denver said. Folks believe strongly that we "need to start making it acceptable to talk about things," as a participant in Dallas said.

Referring to the very conversations we were having with people, participants told us they were "thoroughly amazed" and "relieved" when opportunities like this one arose to have constructive conversations. "Most of us don't get a chance to come to a place where there are ground rules, where I can say what I want and he is not going to leap across the table and get me," said one woman in Des Moines after our conversation. Another person in Dallas agreed: "I had a feeling it was going to be a confrontational evening. I am just amazed how much we all have gone in the same direction."

So, where can America go?

In each of the eight cities we visited, people told us one message about how America must deal with the nation's challenges: we must start with the individual, for it is the individual, when all is said and done, who has lost his way. In America, each individual must decide what kind of nation he or she seeks, and what each must do to contribute to its making. The problem, people say, is that fundamental. We have gone too far; things are now out of whack. In Seattle one woman mapped out the process of change this way:

If you want to change the world, start with your country; and if you want to change your country start with your state; if you want to change your state, start with your town; if you want to change your town, start with your family; and if you want to change your family, start with yourself.

Key to starting with the individual is based on the notion of trust, sounding an earlier theme about the touchstones that live closest to us. "We have a lot more faith in our individual selves and our individual relationships than we do in some of these larger systems. By starting small, many people said they could imagine how the country as a whole could move ahead. One Seattle man put it this way: "I see the grassroots movement is communicating to the average person that they actually have power. That it's not hopeless, that they have power and they can make a difference. That there's a lot of other people out there who feel the way they do. if they can focus that energy, they can take power back to where it belongs."

People asserted that the kind of change they are talking about depends on the individual actively making the decision to change. "You can't change entire groups of people, you have to change individuals, or individuals have to want to change," said a woman in Los Angeles. Working together does not carry a notion of idealistic communal love, people told us: "You don't have to love your neighbor to treat people like people."

None of this will come easy, of course. For many people, life is simply rushing too fast at them to see the future with enough clarity to move toward it. A woman from Dallas noted: "It's an American thing - the fast-paced life. Get it done. Everything is fast. Fast convenience stores. Fast food places." Even our "young people grow up fast," she said. The rapid pace at which Americans tend to live, people told us, affects what kind of neighbors they are, what kind of parents they are; in short, what kind of life we Americans lead.

People said that we must go back to basics - for instance, treating each other with respect and being responsible in the roles people play (child, spouse, parent, co-worker, citizen, friend, neighbor, etc.).

At the heart of this discussion stands an essential dimension of being: the value of the human side of life, of humanity. "The real problem is a loss of humanity and a loss of connecting with other human beings," said a woman in Los Angeles. In Seattle, some asserted that the nation is already suffering from such a loss; a theme heard throughout these conversations. "[We're] creating a society of little worker drones who do nothing but come out of school and fit into this cubicle of technical expertise." People said that the loss of humanity comes from a deep tension between Americans pursuing notions of wealth instead of well-being.

The struggle to balance the concrete and the spiritual surely is not new, but today, these Americans asked to their great chagrin, if the nation has cast aside its spiritual dimension. One woman in Memphis said that "America is schizophrenic" but that given our national heritage, that is to be expected. "You had one group come over for religious purposes, another coming over for economic purposes. Those two sides don't know how to get together and don't know how to work with each other. One side wants to have a moral side; the other side talks about money." Meanwhile, a Los Angeles man flatly stated how he sees the "schizophrenic America" working itself out, "We have become more concrete than spiritual."

They miss the sense of shared purpose and national unity.

People said that America did not get to where it is overnight, that seeing positive changes will take time, and that we must start with the individual and the need for their human touch. A Seattle woman put it this way, "If anybody wants anything to change, you have to put that first foot forward." Indeed, this notion was echoed in all our conversations, as another participant noted, "Change starts with one person. Your influence is the most powerful thing in the world. Nobody can touch a life without being influenced, good or bad, so it's up to the individual to make it a good influence." And a Los Angeles woman explained, "People essentially are the ones that are going to change the way this country is run." Finally, a Dallas man helped to capture the essence of what so many people said in these conversations across our land. "I'm not a Pollyanna, so I'm not going to sit here and wait for all great things to come. Each day you just have to get up and make decisions."

There is an unmistakable pride in America. People may share the opinion that things are neither as good as they could be nor always changing for the better - but there was a pride and a hope in these conversations that things can be turned around. There is a certain pragmatism about what it means to move the nation forward - a kind of hope tempered by patience. These Americans told us, as did one participant, that "no one thing is going to fix what is wrong with our society, because no one thing got it the way it was." Another person observed, "It is going to take time, it is going to take endless steps in order for us to get there, but it is us that is responsible."

These conversations remind me of another study we recently completed called, Hope. In it people talk about the American ideal of hope, how it has been corrupted through modern-day political and marketing techniques - indeed, to me, a loss of public sensibilities - and that there are many steps we must take to generate an authentic sense of hope in America again.

In Hope, as in these conversations, people still want to believe in the American dream and talk about what it will take to get there. One man in Des Moines put it this way, "the American dream is still there, it just got scrunched down a bit." A Seattle woman said, "We should be asking . . . not so much 'What's out there?' but, 'What is it that we can put in its place?" When pushed to consider where to go next, inevitably people would say that something is missing from our lives - and from the nation's life. Many talked about trying to preserve what remains of "our better nature" or to restore a healthier balance to American life, rather than talking abut creating something "new."

People talked about learning from the past. Indeed they were in search of that which is missing, that which they want to locate. People consistently told us that they miss the sense of shared purpose and national unity. Society is changing around them, they do not like the results, and they are seeking to figure out just what to do about it all. They can appear, consequently, to be nostalgic.

Based on these citizen conversations, hope still seems to exist across the nation, but so too does this reality, as one woman in Philadelphia said. "I think that we are all complacent with our little nook in life, and to a certain degree, we are all either struggling or satisfied, or trying to do our little bit, but we are not trying to resolve or solve the whole problem." She continued,

People as a whole gotta take responsibility, too. We all shift the blame on each other and everyone. Everybody has to assume some responsibility. . . . so let's try to work on it.

The beloved American writer Carl Sandburg wrote in his poem, The People, Yes, words that echo those of this Philadelphia woman and of others throughout these pages.

The people say and unsay,
put up and tear down
and put back together again -
this is the people.

Yes, it is the people, they themselves, to whom Americans now look for wisdom and action - to put things back together again; to make again the nation; to return America to the ideal of a nation always becoming.

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